STOP and THINK – Christian Men and Porn

 

~~~ Please watch the corresponding message on YouTube at the end of this article. ~~~

Please note: If you were struggling with porn just more information is not going to be enough. Please seek out actual, intentional accountability. Here’s a few suggestions for you.

www.puredesire.org   www.joinfortify.com

Armed With the Truth

My desire in writing this article is not to add to the shame and guilt you feel when giving in to the temptation of pornography, but to give you weapons in this war, allowing you to be armed with the truth of what is really going on.

It is estimated that 50% of Christian men have looked at pornography recently and, according to one survey, as many as 50% of Christian men believe they are addicted to porn.” This isn’t a problem that is going away, and every day more of God’s champions are becoming ensnared and enslaved in one of the enemy’s most deceptive and destructive traps. Deceptive because with the temptation comes the thought that what you’re doing is harmless and is hurting no one. Destructive in a sense that no man is an island unto himself and everything he does has consequences and ramifications.
I want you to know that this is coming from someone who has been there and understands the struggle. I came across my older brother’s porn magazine when I was eight years old and it deeply affected me. I know how hard it can be, especially these days with rapid fire access. Yes the devil has made it very easy and effortless to go there. I know the power of the draw. I come to you humbly, as a brother and a friend, to speak to you frankly and to give you hope.

“Speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head, Christ” (Ephesians 4:15 NKJV)
You need to know that even though I am going to be straightforward in this article, I want to give you hope that freedom is completely possible. It is possible to sit down at a computer when no one’s home and rejoice because you know you will not go there. There is complete freedom in Christ. The things I am about to say through these points are to help you and not condemn you.
When a man is being tempted to engage in pornography, the enemy is doing all that he can to block out any thought of the consequences and ramifications of what he is about to do. My goal in this article is to give Christian men powerful weapons that will break through the enemy’s blockade and shout thunderously, “NO, DON’T DO THAT!”

When I was an 18 months old I, full on, hugged a wood stove. I was severely burned and both arms were bandaged to my shoulders. Today there is a reason that I don’t hug wood stoves. It’s because I know, first hand, of the severity of the consequences and ramifications.
I would like to challenge Christian men to stop and think before they cross the line of engaging in porn. Here are some very serious and, I hope, shocking things that will give you pause before you ever want to go there again.
Warning: Some of the things I say may bring a reaction of anger, frustration or even rebellion. It may be that there is something inside that really wants to believe that this is okay. But it is NOT okay.
Now, if you have the courage to read this article to the end, let’s continue. No one can stop you from looking at porn again, but before you do, you should know this:

1. You viewing porn is very hurtful to your spouse or your future spouse.

Most of us love our wives and would never think of walking up to them and hitting them as hard as we could, or stomping on their foot, or shaking them violently or punching them in the stomach. But to look at porn is just as hurtful as anything you can do to her physically. You are damaging her deep in her soul, whether she knows you are viewing porn or not. Let us develop the same God-given resolve to never hurt our wives in this area, along with the resolve to never hurt them physically.
When the shock of realization hits a wife that her husband has engaged in porn, it is devastating. She feels that same betrayal as in an affair. The only difference is that, instead of one adulteress to deal with, she has a barrage of flawless images that she feels helpless to compete against. The rejection of her beauty, her personality, her love and the gift of her body sexually is a hundred times worse than a punch in the stomach.
Then, there is the rubble of obliterated trust that has to be rebuilt brick by brick. If the walls of trust are built up and torn down over and over, the marriage WILL NOT survive. You will be losing everything over a sexual fantasy that is not even real. You will be leaving a crushed, broken woman to struggle through life alone, and it will be your fault.
If you are reading this and you are single, ask yourself this question. “Do I want to bring this kind of baggage into my future marriage? If you think all the temptation goes away when you get married, you had better think again.

2. Every sexual experience outside of the covenant of marriage, including pornography, is subtracting from your life

This is what the book of Proverbs says that illustrates this principle:
“For by means of a harlot a man is REDUCED TO A CRUST OF BREAD; And an adulteress will prey upon his precious life. (Proverbs 6:26 NKJV)
There may be this sense that porn is going to add to your life, but in reality, it does nothing but take from you. Every porn experience is robbing your soul. It is taking from you the gifts of the Spirit such as love, joy and peace and is replacing them with guilt, shame and an empty longing for more. When you view porn, it is releasing dopamine in your brain, which is the chemical that causes you to experience pleasure. When you release dopamine wrongly, it robs you from the times when it is to be released in a proper way to give you pleasure in the good things of life.
Porn will make everything else in life seem lifeless and mundane. The joy in relationships is stolen away, especially with your wife, your kids and close friendships. No longer are you able to look at a beautiful sunset or a breathtaking landscape and feel a sense of awe. Beautiful art and music seem to do nothing for you. That is because you are being stolen from. Then there are horrible side effects such as porn induced erectile dysfunction and porn induced insomnia that will also subtract from your life.
The most devastating thing about being reduced is the damage to your relationship with God himself. You don’t want to go near Him because you know you are falling short and you feel nothing but shame. Of course, this is a major part of the trap. To keep you away from the only one that can help you walk free.

A Real Fire

It is interesting that right after the verse in Proverbs 6 about being reduced, the writer talks immediately about being burned by fire.
Can a man take fire to his bosom, And his clothes not be burned? Can one walk on hot coals, And his feet not be seared? So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; Whoever touches her shall not be innocent. (Proverbs 6:27-29 NKJV)

Sexual love between one man and one woman in marriage is to be a warm, romantic fire that is one of the greatest gifts of God to us as humans. For your protection, and because He loves you, He has determined marriage to be the boundary for your sexual expression. If you get outside of that boundary in any way, including viewing pornography, that fire WILL BURN YOU!
Jesus so wants you to enjoy the covenant of marriage relating to your sexuality. It is those experiences that will add greatly to your life and reinforce your marriage. In your marriage, the bond of trust, a clear and honest conscience, and single hearted devotion and focus on your wife as the ONLY woman in your life are priceless and cannot be given a value!

3. If you view pornography, you are actively and intentionally supporting and funding human trafficking.

Benjamin Nolot from Exodus Cry (the group who made the film, Nefarious) calls pornography the “marketing for human trafficking.” It is fueling the demand side of prostitution, sexual slavery and human trafficking. One study showed that consumers of pornography are 400 percent more likely to visit prostitutes.
You may say to yourself, to, “I am not supporting human trafficking because I only look at the “free stuff” online.” It may surprise you that since the advent of Google, many porn sites have switched to a Pay-Per Click model. So even if you are looking at what is considered “free porn,” the website is still getting paid. So the next time you think you’re just going to take a quick look, you will be supporting the slavery of millions of women and children around the world. The Religious Liberty Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention, told the National Press Club: “There are more women and girls in slavery today than in 1861.”
Let us pray that the unimaginable horrors of sexual slavery will be brought to an end.

4. You will be opening yourself and your family to demonic bondage. Pornography is extremely demonic and 100% evil.

You may not be aware of this, but the world of porn is totally controlled by the rulers of darkness in the demonic realm.
“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” (Ephesians 6:12 NKJV)
It is totally and completely evil. The actors you see on the screen or on the page are not happy, fulfilled human beings. They are heavily demonized on a path to ultimate destruction. And guess what… those demons want to destroy your life too.
In Psalm 101:3-4, King David brings some powerful truths and I have included some thoughts that could be drawn from these verses relating to engaging in porn and becoming free from this wickedness.
1. I will set nothing wicked before my eyes; (Viewing porn)

2. I hate the work of those who fall away; (Porn producers, actors and the demons that use them)

3. It shall not cling to me. (The demonic prison of porn addiction)

4. A perverse heart shall depart from me; (A determination to walk free)

5. I will not know wickedness. (Completely shunning the wickedness of porn)

Demonic spirits not only want to gain access to your life, but also the lives of your family, especially your children. These demonic bondages often travel in family lines and are passed on to the next generation. By inviting these demonic spirits in, could it be that we are leaving our families uncovered spiritually? A sobering thought. We are given the charge to protect our family from harm. Even if you’re not married yet, you are responsible to make sure that the enemy is not getting in.
We know this in the natural; if an intruder was to break into our house and threaten our family, they would have us to deal with in a serious way. Are we willing to let our guard down and let the demonic intruders in because we want to fulfill some lustful desire? We must get the walls back up and remain vigilant.
“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” (1 Peter 5:8 NKJV)

5. You Are Damaging and Rewiring Your Brain

Most Christian men would never consider using a harmful drug, but viewing porn is exactly that. Many neurologists have studied the effects of porn on the brain. In many ways it acts exactly like using and becoming addicted to drugs. The release of pleasure chemicals in an improper way through viewing porn creates neuro-pathways that cause the brain to want more and more. The more you view pornography; the brain develops a need for a stronger dose (harder, more graphic porn). As the use continues, the brain is rewired and changed, and not for the better.
The most deceptive part of all this is that the effects are not seen immediately. Like the slow poison you don’t see, its destruction begins working right away.

6. And finally… that GIRL you are looking at is SOMEBODY’S DAUGHTER. Enough said!!!

Final thought:

May you, through the Lord Jesus Christ, have a complete and lasting victory over the devastatingly destructive scourge of pornography.

If you were moved by this article and would like to talk to me about your struggle or have you pray for you, contact me at mike@burningheartsmin.org

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